You might think Evel, Sampson or Erebus are my real names, (who am I kidding, most people don’t even know Evel is a real name), but you would be mistaken. They are placeholders, defining that I’m wicked enough to deliberately be unconventional, and that I have long hair.
But there’s always more to every story. Wicked is a synonym of evil, which Evel resonates with. Sampson is a biblical character of strength, although I am not at all strong. It also refers to the sun, casting light in the darkness. I am Erebus too, of the deepest of darkness, contrasting to the light I bring, thus contradicting myself, believing two opposites to be true, searching a fair point to incorporate all sides and reaching out for stability, without plunging to extremism.
I am the dark. I am the light.
I am merely a youngster, delving into the studies of the international. Travelling on a small scope, finding meaning into every action, debating across motions never-ending, managing information to reach their destination. Trying to find the will to do more, trying to justify the cost, where I see my joy, my suffering; here we stand in my surfeited room, where I claim my name to be remembered.
You know the how people say ‘seize the moment’. How some may respond that ‘the moments seize us’. We assume so much of the world and ourselves that we’ll find a way to live in the moments no matter what, we never think about what a moment is.
A moment. A singular moment. Consider this: we live our lives through individual moments in a chain, marking our lives with memorable and forgettable pieces. We create a narrative in our mind, establish what we’ve experienced, what we are. But after the days go by, the weeks, the months, the years… what all this will go is a pleasing picture in our minds, on our social media feeds, old photographs in a book. It is after all an undefined set of information just lying over our minds spilling everywhere.
We rarely consider our life as a web of strings, we rarely see cause and effect in the long-term, and we rarely establish a catalogue of what we do, who we meet.
We casually meet people in our lives, without even considering to fit them into the story of our lives. Who is that person in my story? Who am I in his story? What are our mutual roles, which determine every interaction we make, which doesn’t allow us to go awry on our way? What is our way?
This blog is an epilogue answering these questions about my life. An epilogue of the past, since every arc has to end somewhere, and each and every conflict is resolved in due time.
This blog is the Epilogue: Constellation Sampson.