Survival: Purpose

In this world every person is looking for one, which they never admit. An underlying problem of the human: why do we survive?

We don’t survive because we hunger, nor because we don’t see meaning in having to refill ourselves, there’s no meaning to keep being happy while we suffer. There’s a deeper level to all of our functions.

We’re thriving for meaning, we define it personally. We build our worlds upon feeling, emotions and memories; we find ideas to live for; we find narratives that guide us; we find stories to take part in. There’s no escaping literature, in some way every one of us associates with a character, align our goals with them, feel what they feel, seek what they seek.

All of this… is a perception of compassion. Underneath these we seek a much more dangerous purpose, a singular purpose which exists in itself. In which, there isn’t an inner voice guiding us, there aren’t samples to encompass, it is without any distraction. And this one question seems to have no answer, not empirically, since no man has ever dominated everything under its’ control, there’s always something more to do. But neither in our world of imagination we can discover what life is in itself. What is a life without visceral drive, without the need to satisfy physical emptiness?

There’s the question we don’t pursue since there’s no answer. But the existence of the questions itself which is dangerous, since it implies there’s nothing stopping us from acting. If there’s no singular purpose to follow, all men are playing the game for themselves, for their ideas against every one and other, there’s no other than enemies, there’s no other than alternatives. Where there’s nothing true, and everything is permitted.

However, if there is indeed a singular motion, we are all playing a game we’ve already lost. Rolling the dice, like probability and chance have a meaning against a vital tide. Maybe this singular motion is disorder itself, where nothing is true and nothing is permitted.


Actors: Evel Sampson Erebus

You might think Evel, Sampson or Erebus are my real names, (who am I kidding, most people don’t even know Evel is a real name), but you would be mistaken. They are placeholders, defining that I’m wicked enough to deliberately be unconventional, and that I have long hair.

But there’s always more to every story. Wicked is a synonym of evil, which Evel resonates with. Sampson is a biblical character of strength, although I am not at all strong. It also refers to the sun, casting light in the darkness. I am Erebus too, of the deepest of darkness, contrasting to the light I bring, thus contradicting myself, believing two opposites to be true, searching a fair point to incorporate all sides and reaching out for stability, without plunging to extremism.

I am the dark. I am the light.

I am merely a youngster, delving  into the studies of the international. Travelling on a small scope, finding meaning into every action, debating across motions never-ending, managing information to reach their destination. Trying to find the will to do more, trying to justify the cost, where I see my joy, my suffering; here we stand in my surfeited room, where I claim my name to be remembered.